Valentines Day: The Pressures of Commitment
Michael Lipp
(609) 586 - 2021
michaellipp@1stClassCoaching.com
www.1stClassCoaching.com
Valentines Day Perspective on Results
The Pleasures of Commitment II
The other day I issued part I of this essay. It was all well and good, but it left out a crucial, absolutely essential problem with commitment, namely: Who goes first? Is it possible to commit without anxiously waiting to hear, “me, too?”
This is the main issue in all business negotiations. Everyone has read the cliche that whoever speaks first loses. So no one wants to go first. It seems to leave you defenseless.
You know, most of us don’t realize that there are four answers to a yes-no question. Our thinking stops at yes and no. The same is true about commitment. We think we either do or we wait; we inch forward and let the other person inch forward and then we go first, praying that the other person will respond favorably.
But there are more answers. You can answer a yes-no question in these ways:
Yes and no, of course, but also, “I have a counter-offer” (which reverses the conversation) and the one that is like what’s available here about commitment:
“I won’t answer now, but I commit to giving you an answer by such and such date and time.”
That’s similar to what I’m suggesting here. I can’t commit now. But I want you to know that my intention is to commit. It’s where I want to end up, so I just want you to know what my intention is.
“Intention is an impulse toward something; an idea that one is going to accomplish something. It’s intentional, which means one means to do it”
“A plan of action; design, an aim that guides action.”
” The purpose or desired outcome of any behavior.
Thus, you can commit without committing. It is a major step forward. It’s a willingness to at least put your cards on the table. It allows for the conversation to include “the fear.” Please let us look at the fear we have of committing. What can we do about it? Can you help me to remove my fear, I’ll help you to remove yours.
The ultimate quote on commitment comes from Goethe, who wrote:
“Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it."
Don’t ignore the magic. Nothing else really works.
(609) 586 - 2021
michaellipp@1stClassCoaching.com
www.1stClassCoaching.com
Valentines Day Perspective on Results
The Pleasures of Commitment II
The other day I issued part I of this essay. It was all well and good, but it left out a crucial, absolutely essential problem with commitment, namely: Who goes first? Is it possible to commit without anxiously waiting to hear, “me, too?”
This is the main issue in all business negotiations. Everyone has read the cliche that whoever speaks first loses. So no one wants to go first. It seems to leave you defenseless.
You know, most of us don’t realize that there are four answers to a yes-no question. Our thinking stops at yes and no. The same is true about commitment. We think we either do or we wait; we inch forward and let the other person inch forward and then we go first, praying that the other person will respond favorably.
But there are more answers. You can answer a yes-no question in these ways:
Yes and no, of course, but also, “I have a counter-offer” (which reverses the conversation) and the one that is like what’s available here about commitment:
“I won’t answer now, but I commit to giving you an answer by such and such date and time.”
That’s similar to what I’m suggesting here. I can’t commit now. But I want you to know that my intention is to commit. It’s where I want to end up, so I just want you to know what my intention is.
“Intention is an impulse toward something; an idea that one is going to accomplish something. It’s intentional, which means one means to do it”
“A plan of action; design, an aim that guides action.”
” The purpose or desired outcome of any behavior.
Thus, you can commit without committing. It is a major step forward. It’s a willingness to at least put your cards on the table. It allows for the conversation to include “the fear.” Please let us look at the fear we have of committing. What can we do about it? Can you help me to remove my fear, I’ll help you to remove yours.
The ultimate quote on commitment comes from Goethe, who wrote:
“Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it."
Don’t ignore the magic. Nothing else really works.
posted by 1stclasscoaching @ 1:07 PM
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